Edwart Culen
What the hell is an Edwart? Edwart Culen is an illiterate emo scene goth punk "vampri" on Habbo Hotel. He is famous for being the '''REAL '''Slim Shady Robert Pattinson and for granting the players of Habbo the honor of meeting his virtual avatar. Although claiming to be 17 since 2008, many people suspect him to actually be 12 10 4. Also notable is his college level writing, optimistic attitude and his logical thinking. One must be swift and cunning to play a prank on Edwart before he picks up on it and uses his correct grammar and large vocabulary to call you out on it. Family and Relationships Edwart Culen is the son of Rasin and Victra and brother of Leonerd and Shiqwa. Edwart was adopted by another family at an early age after Rasin was arrested and thrown in jail. After Leonerd got wasted off absinthe and killed Edwart's new family, they had a burning hatred for each other that would last forever. Edwart is happily married to Shiqwa, despite that fact that they are blood related. (which explain why their children always come out retarded) They've been married and divorced several times for bullshit reasons that I can't remember. Edwart can never successfully manage to keep a relationship alive for more than a week. Fighting Style Edwart usually "spreds vampri wings" and/or "has nifes" when preparing for a battle. He usually throws you into walls and "staps" you, but he will always go for your weakness when he figures it out. He is mainly vulnerable to shock and sexual imagery. Edwart will tend to back out of fights if he feels it is too "stubit." An example of this would be the spigiti montar and The Communist Penguin Army. Enemies Edwart has a variety of enemies he encounters on a daily basis. The following list may not be entirely accurate or reflect recent events. *Leonerd *Rasin *Habbo Way Army *Kibe *Bagelsworth *Robo Edwart *Calendar Man *Leonerd Jr. *The Communist Penguin Army *Adork Heatler *Syncope *RED Spy *Spigiti Montar *Weevil The Life of Edwart The following is an autobiography written entirely by edwart himself. It has been left unedited, which is probably why no one can read it. This section will be updated as edwart continues to write on his life. Chapter 1 *it start ot w big bildeng* *it bglo up * *rasin dad jump of bildeng* *he doeng kool flipes nd hit grond prefecly* *he walk 2 rasin * rasin dad: c tht how u get tings done rasin: w.e *roll eye* *rasin is 17* rasin dad: wow u never hv bobba lol ! rasin dad: i did lol tht how i hv u bcs ur a misake...... rasin: how do u now i dident...... rasin dad: bcs u cnt get gf lol *2 deys l8er* *rasin brig home beby tht he adbot nd it obama beby* rasin: my gf hv cild lol it my cild *rasin dad loke at it* rasin dad: wtf tht dosent loke enyting like u ! rasin: it my rasin dad: u adobt a bebu nd trty 2 sey it urs lol !!!!rasin dad: u cnt get gf ! rasin: omfg *he thro beby on flore nd run ot dore* *beby dispere* *rasin run 2 park* rasin: i hv 2 get a gf....... *rasin walk up 2 chike* rasin: ey beby lol want d8 ?? *chike hit him w her purse* *her purse hv bome in it nd he exblode* rasin: WTF !!!! *he c a chike in th forest* rasin: woh *he go 2 frost* *she leyeng on grond* *2 hores l8er afer they hv bobba* *he brig him gf home* rasin: ey dad loke we jst hv bobba lol *rasin dad redeng news paber* *he loke up* rasin dad: WTF !!!!!! rasin dad: U BRIG HOME A BERE ! *rasin gf a bere* *rasin loke at bere* rasin: fk *bere atake rasin dad* rasin dad: WTF ! *he run ot of hose* *7 wekes l8er* dr: th beby comeng ! dr: breth ! dr: breth ! *bere ets dr* dr: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa !!!!! rasin: it ok huney kep pusheng *bere hv beby* *it hafe humen nd hafe bere* *it leonerd* Chapter 2 *after leonerd brith* *they go inot hose* *bere go 2 hose next dore* *bere eteng trashe can* *persen cm ot of hose* persen: wtf ?! *they shot bere* *bere die* rasin: ....... *go inot hose* rasin dad: ur signel agean lol rasin: sht up at lest we hv fode now *diner* *they r eteng bere* rasin: lol ur eteng ur mom *leonerd dnt no wat he doeng* rasin dad: he cnt stey in th hose rasin: wtf ? u want me hv kid now he cnt ? *otside* *leonerd slepeng in dog hose* *he afrad* rasin: fk in singel nd i do it w a bere nd nt a rl chike....... rasin dad: mayeb u shold go 2 farm nd u cn get a rl chike lol from a egg rasin: sht up ! *he run ot dore* *he driveng a aztek* *he go 2 mcdonelds* *he park bside dumbster* *victra from twiltie is eteng trashe* rasin : wtf ? victra: wat rasin: want 2 do it lol i ned gf victra: will u pey me ? rasin: yh lol *they r doeng it in car* *l8er* *rasin walk in w victra* *rasin dad slepeng* *rasin kik dore down nd lites cm on* *rasin dad gt up* rasin dad: wtf ? rasin: loke hu i jst ahd bobba w lol rasin dad: she fat nd hv fake bobes *victra spred vampri wing* *she fli at him* rasin dad: OMG !!! *he run 2 bedrom* *he loke dore* rasin dad: UR GFS R FRECKS !!!!!! *leonerd at bk dore wanteng in* leonerd: plz rasin: sht up *7 wekes l8er* *they r in car rusheng 2 hosbital* victra: HUREY UP BASTARET IM HVENG A BEBY !!!!!!!!!! rasin: sht up omg ! *she grap wele* *car go of rode* rasin: WTbobbaan here polse nose* rasin: FK LOKE WAT U DO ! victra: im nt maryeng u ! rasin: y did i hv bobba w u ?! rasin: site down now *victra site down* *she gt paber nd rite help me on it* *sht pt ot windo* rasin: WTF ? rasin: do u want 2 go 2 hosbital or nt ?! victra: yh obv *at hosbital* dr: pushe ! dr: go ! dr: w8 wtf ? wat r u doeng ?! *victra eteng trashe* rasin: she a idot victra: SHT UP ! *sudly she start scrameng* dr: wtf is rong ?! *rom go dark* rasin: WTF ??? *rom start sharkeng* *5 minets l8er im borne lol* Chapter 3 *they gt home* *leonerd is dieing otside* *it snoweng* rasin: i never c a beby w alot of hare b4 lol *my hare is emo hare bt im a beby* victra: im brakeng up w u rasin: gd *it cristmas* *im 2 yr old now nd leonerd is 3* *me nd leonerd r ripeing at onely presend udner th tree* *rasin isent home* *rasin dad watsheng* rasin dad: yh ur gong 2 like tht........ i guse *leonerd pushe me over nd oben presend* *it sapgeti tht yrs old nd a control 4 game* leonerd: wat hell is this ?! rasin dad: tht spageti nd pope *i pike up control* me: we dnt even hv a game sistem ! rasin dad: 2 bad *leonerd pike up presend* *he thro it at rasin dad* rasin sad: WTF ! *rasin walk in* rasin: *sihg* leonerd: dad ur home ! rasin: yh.... w.e........ *he gt bere* me: i ned fode ! leonerd: i ned it more ! rasin: i dnt care *watsheng tv* *sense me nd leonerd r bebys we dnt member this now lol* me: tht it im geteng ot of here *i use fone 2 call 199* polse: wat me: help my dad nt fedeng me rasin dad: w8 is he rele on th fone ? *rasin is drunke* polse: ware do u life me: in hose polse: we comeng *rasin dad grap fone nd kik me* rasin dad: FK HE WAS ON TH FONE ! rasin: wat *he cnt here* *rasin dad loke dore* me: ug.... *get up* *leonerd is punsheng wall* *he makeing holes* *u can here polse comeng* rasin dad: FK DO U WANT 2 GO 2 JALE ?! rasin dad: HUREY ND RUN ! rasin: im a buterfly lol *he so drunke he dnt no wat goeng on* rasin dad: fine i hope u go 2 jale lol *he run ot bk dore* me: *smirsk* *polse cm 2 dore nd noke* *no1 anser* *they kik dore down* *a chike polse tk me nd leonerd awey* *dude polse cm in nd c rasin* *he shot him in leg* rasin: FK !!!!!!!!!*he fall 2 grond* *polse kik him* Chapter 4 *we r in adobten plase* *me nd leonerd r 2gether* me: ware is dad leonerd: hu cares *ppel give us fode* leonerd: woh fode ! me: wat is tht leonerd: it my tht wat it it *he tk my plate nd him plate nd et bothe* *then he go 2 trashe nd et it* *persen hu own plase* persen: wtf ? u pore cild lol *l8er* *leonerd is pleyeng w blokes* *he bildeng a castel* *he moveng toy ppel arond it* leonerd: lol *i walk over nd kik it dowen* leonerd: NO ! leonerd: loke wat u did ! me: yh lol it funey *leonerd kik me down* *he punsheng me over nd over* *onwer cm over nd he throw leonerd bk* *im bledeng* *tht nite* *leonerd is aslep* *i tk him favrite pengin toy* me: heh...... *i cut it up w nife* *i pute it bk w him* *next dey* adobten persen: leonerd ur adobted we ur leveng 2dey *leonerd wake up* *he c him doll* *he scrame* me: *smirsk* *acteng aslep* *leonerd gt up* *he flipe my bed over* me: WOH ! him: I FKENG KILL U !!!!! *adobten persen tk him ot nd i never c him agean lol* me: help im udner bed nd i ned fpode ! *w rasin in jale* *he wake up* rasin: how i get here ?? *rasin dad use glove 2 brake thru wall* rasin: y am i here rasin dad: u gt arest bcs u dident tk care of ur cilden rasin: o rasin: at lest i dnt hv them now...... *1yr l8er i get adobted* *tht wen i start 2 member thigs bcs im odler lol* *it tht 1 famely tht leonerd kill in my other storey* *7 yrs l8er he adobt shiqwa 2 b profsey doter but he cnt do tht lol* *nd it ok tht me nd shiqwa r dateing bcs we rnt rele bro nd sis lol* *credets pley th end lol * Edwart's Writing Career Edwart has been paid in "cones" by numerous people to write stories for them. They are quite funny to read and come in the exact same illiterate English that can be seen above. Also notice the amount of emo boy pictures saved to his favorites. If you browse all of them, you'll notice all the poorly drawn pictures of Edward and Bella from Twilight. External links *Edwart's Habbo page *Edwart's DeviantART